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  COPYRIGHT 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. WITHOUT LIMITING THE RIGHTS UNDER COPYRIGHT RESERVED ABOVE, NO PART OF THIS PUBLICATION MAY BE REPRODUCED, STORED IN OR INTRODUCED INTO A RETRIEVAL SYSTEM, OR TRANSMITTED, IN ANY FORM, OR BY ANY MEANS (ELECTRONIC, MECHANICAL, PHOTOCOPYING, RECORDING, OR OTHERWISE) WITHOUT THE PRIOR WRITTEN PERMISSION OF BOTH THE COPYRIGHT OWNER AND THE PUBLISHER OF THIS BOOK.

  THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. NAMES, CHARACTERS, PLACES, BRANDS, MEDIA, AND INCIDENTS ARE EITHER THE PRODUCT OF THE AUTHOR'S IMAGINATION OR ARE USED FICTITIOUSLY. ANY RESEMBLANCE TO ACTUAL PERSONS, LIVING OR DEAD IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.

  THIS EBOOK IS LICENSED FOR YOUR PERSONAL ENJOYMENT ONLY. THIS EBOOK MAY NOT BE RE-SOLD OR GIVEN AWAY TO OTHER PEOPLE. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE THIS BOOK WITH ANOTHER PERSON, PLEASE PURCHASE AN ADDITIONAL COPY FOR EACH RECIPIENT. IF YOU’RE READING THIS BOOK AND DID NOT PURCHASE IT, OR IT WAS NOT PURCHASED FOR YOUR USE ONLY, THEN PLEASE PURCHASE YOUR OWN COPY. THANK YOU FOR RESPECTING THE HARD WORK OF THIS AUTHOR.

  Published by Felicia Fox and Hot Ink Press

  Cover done by C&K Creations

  Edited by Elizabeth A. Lance

  Acknowledgments

  Thank you to my family and friends for the encouragement.

  And

  Thank you to my critique team and publisher Hot Ink Press, for helping to make my dream into a reality.

  #bitchpigeonsforever, Vicki Rose Stewart, Kristin Secorsky, and He Who I Will Not Name, for all your hard work on Crave. I lurve you.

  Thank you, my glorious reader for coming on this journey with my sassy Fe and sexy Alex.

  I appreciate you always,

  Felicia Fox

  Crave

  By

  Felicia Fox

  Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely: and pined his loss”

  ― John Milton, Paradise Lost

  Crave

  By Felicia Fox

  “Look FeFe,” Laurie says.

  God, I hate when she calls me that. She makes me sound like a damn poodle.

  “You are great…I mean…you are pretty, sweet, and smart.” She prattles on while twirling a lock of her long, fiery red hair.

  My god woman, I have been waiting all week now for you to just say we are over. If you’re going to end our relationship, please just fucking say it. Get it over with and walk away.

  “This just isn’t going to go anywhere.”

  There you go, now walk out the door. It’s not like you’re expecting me to say anything.

  “You and I are not compatible. I wanted to try out something different, you know, shake my world up. Try a girl out, see what all the hype was about. Quite frankly, it was unimpressive.” I stood there in our little studio apartment absolutely astonished by her words. She is a beautiful, high maintenance piece of work. From her cinnamon tresses down to her pretty-in-pink painted toes, she is immaculately put together. Her hazel eyes look over my shoulder at the door, the same door I hope she walks out of and doesn’t come back.

  “Are you fucking kidding me, Laurie? You’re calling me a damn experiment and not a very good one. Couldn’t you, for once in your prissy ass life, have kept the conversation to a minimum? ‘Hey this shit’s not working, it’s over,’ then walk your happy ass out the door?” I ask as my voice escalates into a low roar.

  “I mean, I tried. I even moved in to this…little place. I went all domestic with you, but really… You know what? I need to be honest.”

  “Well by all means, let’s have it. Be honest with me.” My words are sarcastic but they seem to be going in one ear and out the other.

  “I met someone and he is amazing. Makes me feel like the woman I was always meant to be and the sex, well, maybe you don’t want to know about that but it is fucking phenomenal. You just don’t have what I need financially, or physically. You should be thankful for the time we had together. I gave so much up for you,” Her words cut deep. I am not only an experiment, I am not good enough for her either. Fuck this hurts, and it isn’t even about her cheating on me, although that put a little twist on the stab to the ego.

  “I can’t take any more of this conversation, you need to leave and do it now. I’ll even help you pack your shit all lovingly in bubble wrap if you’ll just walk out that fucking door right now.” I say it harshly, pointing my finger towards the entry way. I can tell by the shocked look on her face that she wasn’t expecting it. Well, good.

  I watch her reach into her purse and pull out her phone. She swipes her finger across the screen and punches in her pass code. I stand there waiting for her to call this guy or a cab to come and get her but instead she hands the device over to me. What I see there is a kick in the teeth.

  Laurie was snuggled up in this guy’s arms, kissing his cheek. Her clear, porcelain skin is such a contrast to his golden tone. The man has dark sienna hair, sparkling milk chocolate eyes, and chiseled facial features rounding off his ‘perfect’ face. I look up at her.

  “What the hell Laurie? I don’t want to see this shit. Why would you show me?”

  “Oh, I’m sorry...I meant to have you call a cab for me since you know the number by heart. I haven’t saved it in my new phone.” She said sorry, but the tone of her voice was anything but. The bitch finally stepped on what was left of my heart. My chest is tight and my fists clench at my sides.

  “Please, Laurie…just leave.” It comes out in a whisper. I’m trying my hardest not to cry in front of her. She’s enjoying my torment enough as it is. Surprisingly, she looks a little sad, and she stands there looking a bit helpless for a moment. She reaches a hand up to brush a long strand of loose hair behind my ear and I let her. I smell the perfume she dabs at her wrist every morning. I inhale it knowing this morning was the last time I would watch her as she dresses for the day.

  “Good-bye FeFe…” She turns for the door and walks out of my life. I suck in a huge gulp of air and make my way to the bathroom. I look at my reflection in the mirror as I lean over the sink. I’m in shock to see there isn’t a huge, bloody hole where my heart should be.

  I still have the same mahogany hair. It hangs past my shoulder blades and is layered to give it some character. My eyes are spring green, only now they are rimmed in red and filled to the brim with tears waiting for permission to fall. My fair skin is ghostly but for my cheeks. They’re rosy red from the anger and hurt I withheld from Laurie. God, Laurie, what a piece of work and I’m going to miss her. Fuck.

  Finally, I let the water works go. The salt in my tears sting my cheeks before full, body wracking sobs begin and I fall to my knees. With my head in my hands, I replay the picture of them together. “Will I ever be good enough?” I choke out. I am so done with all this bullshit. No more relationships.

  Eight months later

  ͠

  Oh god…I love you, Alex. Stay safe for me and stay away.

  Marius’s walks back and forth in front of me. His gaze distant while he mutters angrily to himself, “Should have grabbed you the moment I laid eyes on you. Now you’re covered in that bitch’s noxium. Makes me want carve it from your skin.” Heaven help me, the man has blood splatters covering his body and coating his hand. I look down and find drops on my legs and his bloody hand print on my arm.

  Oh. My. God, keeps repeating in my head like a mantra while his words tumble over and over again in my mind. I have officially fallen down the rabbit hole. This just cannot be real. Here I am, whisked away once again. Gideon now lays dead on a sandy beach, his blood soaking the sand is a vivid picture in my mind. He is, well, was my succubus mate Alex’s best friend. His death is on my hands, and the hands of the psycho currently pacing back and forth.

  I watch him hit his head with a slap of his hand, “She has to come. She will come.” he mumbles.

&nbs
p; I don’t know what Marius is on but he needs a fix of whatever he’s been taking. I can’t stop shaking, my head is pounding and I hold my hands around my stomach as if the action alone could combat the nausea. Seriously, I’ve never been this scared or felt this sick in my life. Oh Alex I hope you are okay.

  I guess I was right. There is no way I can make it in Alex’s world. This incubus world is a dark one, full of sex and bastards like this one. Marius tortures and kills women to appease some kind of sick thrill. Watching him isn’t helping my state of panic, but taking my eyes off him is out of the question. It makes carrying a piece of Alex’s essence and taking on some of the attributes of her people sickening. Not having to eat and being fueled and nourished from sex sounds interesting, but I’m still up in the air where that is concerned. I’m not so human anymore, especially now that my life span will be tied to hers and she still has about four hundred years to go.

  Marius’s voice is melodic even as it rises with his anger. He begins pacing once again, moving with the innate grace I have come to associate with the Incubus. He’s tall, over six feet with lean muscle mass. He lacks the Incubus luster, or any lively skin tone. There isn’t even a blush of color in his cheeks from his escalating anger. Sweat streams in rivulets down his brow and on his chest, evidenced by the ever growing wet spot on his shirt. Marius’s hair is a dull chestnut color and plastered to his forehead. His gaze is intense and never quite looks away from me, his eyes are a muddy brown framed by long, thick eyelashes.

  I look around the room while Marius continues his pacing, hoping for a window, a door, anything I may be able to sneak out of. To my bitter disappointment, I see nothing. The cylindrical shape of the space, and gray stone walls, make me think I’m in a castle turret. It’s drafty and the cold is starting to seep into the exposed skin of my legs and arms. Stupid strapless dress! I ramble off in my head. Get it together, Felicity. I don’t dare move and attract any more of his attention than necessary, even though I want to rub some warmth back into my limbs.

  I’m startled when he’s suddenly standing in front of me, his arm outstretched to grip the back of the chair over my shoulder. He leans in close. His breath smells oddly of roses, and it fans over my face warm and moist, shifting a few stray strands of hair.

  “Two fucking days too late. Killing her is going to feel so good.” Marius hisses at me and I try to dodge his spittle, to no avail.

  “Look, you have me, please just leave everyone else alone.” I say, pleading with him. “Leave all of the women and Alex alone. Do whatever it is you want with me and have it be over with. If you’re going to turn me into some meat suit for some sick fantasy, let’s just have at it.” My voice trembles, the fear prevalent in the tone.

  “Oh no, Felicity.” He kneels down in front of me, “I need to get her essence off of you and that can only be achieved by killing her. I want you. You will be my mate.” He speaks to me with no room for argument, and my heart starts to race. I’ll do whatever I need to keep Alex safe, but could I give myself to him in that way? How would he even be able to perform the action? Right now, I couldn’t have been more grateful to Alex knowing she removed his baby making equipment when he tried to rape her. Although I know there is more than one way to hurt someone sexually, that’s not what I want to focus on right now.

  “You will be pure. No one and nothing will touch you.” Marius’s hand runs through my hair gently, once again threatening my upchuck reflex. “I knew the moment I saw you that you were to be mine.” His gaze is on me, but he seems to be looking through me as he relives a memory. He loses himself in thought about as often as I do, so maybe I’ll be able to escape him when his attention is diverted.

  “I stood with Caius, where the mother of his child was buried. He was feeling nostalgic and wanted to see the grave marker where her family put her body to rest.

  She died giving birth to Alexandria. The bitch kills everything good in this world.” He growls at his use of her name. “That is where I saw you.” He looks at me now. Really looks at me as he continues to speak. “I watched as you were saying goodbye to your parents. I listened to your soft words while their caskets lowered into the ground.”

  I flash back to that day in my head. It was one of the worst weeks in my life. It had always been the three of us, ‘The Three Musketeers.’ When I received the call from Aunt Gertrude that my parents had been in a car accident, I dropped everything and rushed home praying I would make it in time to say goodbye. I was too late by one hour, one stinking hour.

  I guess my parents couldn’t go on without each other because they passed from this world five minutes apart from one another. I remember rushing into the hospital asking for a room number, my voice high and panicking and then seeing the look on the receptionists face when she plugged the names Jenna and Ryan Turner into her computer. The look was pity, and my heart plummeted into my stomach.

  “If you will wait one moment, someone will be out to speak with you very soon.” She said with the smallest, saddest smile on her face.

  From that point on I knew it was going to be just me now. No more ‘Three Musketeers.’ No more family holidays or the call to see how I was. No more of my mother’s horrid cooking and my father’s terrible jokes. No more big bear hugs from Dad and no more Chanel-scented hugs from Mom.

  They were the only ones in this world who accepted me totally and completely for the person I am. The rest of our small town always pointed fingers and whispered behind their hands about how different I was from them all. The only thing that had ever mattered to my parents was that I was happy. The only thing that had ever mattered to me was that I always had their loving arms and hearts to turn to. Then they were gone.

  That week went by quickly as I made plans for their burial. I had no other family except for my mother’s sister, my sweet crazy aunt Gertie, who was a bit off her rocker and in no condition to help me. She was distraught and kept telling me it was time for me to find someone to settle down with so I wasn’t so alone in the world.

  The only other people in attendance were my father and mother’s co-workers and friends. I had no prepared speech, only what my heart screamed out as I stood over their caskets.

  My words were whispered and strained. I’m surprised he was able to hear them, but the words meant so much to me. They used to tease me saying, “I was but a little flame of the fire they make.” Waggling their eyebrows and making me want to puke a little in my mouth. At the same time, the way they looked into each other’s eyes as they said those words gave me so much hope that maybe love like that existed for me out there.

  He took the light of your soul to brighten his Heaven

  And left but a tiny flame to burn in your absence

  He is never fair.

  I’ll miss your brilliance.

  I love you.

  Always.

  The look in Marius’s eyes is wistful as he continues to speak, “I play your words over and over in my mind. I wanted to sooth your pain that day. Erase the lost look in your eyes. You were so beautiful, and reminded me so much of Evangeline.”

  Who the hell was Evangeline? Why couldn’t he have her instead of whittling the world away one five-eight, green eyed, porcelain skinned, long haired brunette at a time. My nerves have me rambling off in my head one too many times. I need to stay focused.

  “I excused myself from Caius and followed you home from the graveyard. Watched as you walked into what was your family home. When night fell I stole through the house and tried to touch your dreams.” Marius reaches out to stroke a finger along the curve of my cheek. I flinch back into the chair, trying to make myself smaller, but it does nothing. He still reaches out and touches me and it makes my skin crawl.

  “I wanted to prime you, get you ready to be receptive to my Incubus, but curiously I could not penetrate your mind. I sat there and watched as you slept. I puzzled over you, and at my age a mystery is a precious gift, and that is what you are my Sweet, a precious gift.” He pulls me up from the chai
r and holds me in a tight embrace, lifting me high enough for my feet to be off the ground. His arms are wrapped securely around me, squeezing tightly, and breathing is becoming more of a challenge the longer I am in his sweat-dampened hold.

  “Then Alex comes along and defiles you with her Noxium when you should be mine.” Marius was growling out his words against my neck, slightly shaking me in his anger. He sets me back down on the ground and I fall to my knees, no longer able to keep up my strength. My energy evaporates as I watch him step back so he can begin pacing.

  “I had done all I could to keep you from being with anyone. Goddess what I went through when you were with that twit Laurie.” The mention of her name ratchets up my ire. “I watched for two years as you both became comfortable, and when you walked into the jewelry store…” I remember the day he was referring to, it was a week before she left me. I was having my parent’s rings cleaned.

  “I knew she couldn’t stay with you any longer, so I implanted images in her head that Laurie and I had been seeing each other for a few weeks. I even made her take a picture of the two of us to show you, so you wouldn’t try to convince her to stay. I knew if you put in the effort, you might have taken back the hold I had on her mind. She was actually in love with you. Like that woman could give you what you needed? No! No one can. Only me. Me!” He bangs his fist into his chest.

  Laurie loved me and he made her leave me, but what happened to her? “What did you do to Laurie? Where is she, Marius?” He shivers at the sound of his name rolling out of my mouth, and it totally freaks me out.

  “I’d rather not tell you just yet. No need to spoil this time we have together.” He looks away from me and I know he killed her. Laurie was probably one of the women he tortured, though she looks nothing like me. A big part of me wants to demand an answer, but the smaller, selfish part of me never wants to know. It would be my fault she’s dead. For loving me, Laurie would be dead. The bodies seem to be piling up higher and higher and all because of me. My God, I’m going to need some serious therapy if I survive.